Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Mason: Brad. (Awkward pause) Did we really just kill a man? I mean you. Did you really just kill a man?

Brad: My god could you keep your voice down! Just pretend like we are here to enjoy a nice mid-morning breakfast and no one will think anything is up.

Mason: Okay I am sorry. I’m just nervous I’ve never done this before.

Brad: And you think I have?! What kind of person do you think I am?

Mason: A man who drags his best friend into killing another man with him just for selling him bad steroids. Brad you’re a doctor. You know you could get in trouble just for giving young athletes steroids. You’ll be in prison longer now for killing a man!

Brad: (stands up at the table) Mason! I said keep your voice down!

Mason: (slouches down in his seat) I’m sorry Brad. The guilt. It’s already getting to me.

(Waitress walks over and acts like nothing is happening and stands and waits for the men to stop yelling at each other)

Jenny: Hello my name is Jenny I’ll be serving you today. Can I start you off with a drink?

Mason: Yeah, I’ll have a coffee with a side of I just murdered a man.

Brad: (Reaches across the table and covers Masons mouth) Haha! He’s a funny one! Just bring us both a coffee. Black coffee please.

Waitress: Okay I’ll be right back.

Brad: Mason are you kidding me. You are going to get yourself arrested too yah know? You assisted me. You may not have shot him with the gun but you helped me catch him. You cornered him with the car. You’ll be charger for intent in murder.

Mason: I keep telling you Brad I’m sorry. I can’t say I’m sorry anymore.

Waitress: Hello guys I am back. What would you like to eat? Or do you need a few more minutes?

Brad: We are ready. I’ll have the spinach omelet with a side of home fries.

Mason: I will have the scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon please.

Jenny: Great I’ll put the order in. 

Brad: Mason, why are you sweating so much you look suspicious?

Mason: How am I supposed to keep it in that I assisted in killing someone today? I helped you corner a man in a dark alley so you could put a gun to his head. All because he gave you steroids that didn’t work. This poor man who probably has a loving wife and young adoring children who don’t know that their dad won’t be coming home tonight. All because you though the only way to solve this problem was by shooting him in the side of the head.

Brad: Don’t act like I don’t feel bad. I feel horrible.

Mason: Then why did you do it?

(Two cops walk in on their break coming to have a quick drink and muffins)

Brad: Mason. Please stop talking.

Mason: I have to confess.

Brad: Don’t you dare. Think about it you’re a newlywed. You want to leave Amber all alone. Don’t you want to have children with her some day? Think about your future.

Mason: Amber does not deserve to be with a man as horrible as me. She’s a beautiful woman. She’ll be able to find someone deserving of her in a heartbeat.

(Mason gets up and starts to walk towards the two cops sitting at the counter)

Officer Schofield: Hello sir how may I help you?

Mason: I-I-I.

Brad: Say it. You won’t you little rat.

Officer Schofield: Say what? We are here to help you. Do you need something?

Mason: Nothing I’m fine. Never mind, I am sorry for bothering you.

(Mason slowly walks back to the table him and Brad were sitting at)

Brad: I knew you were pathetic but wow.

Mason: I am not pathetic! You’re the pathetic one! You are scum. You ruin children’s futures by giving them medicine their body doesn’t need. Not everyone is meant to be some all-star athlete.

Brad: Sometimes that’s the only way you can get acceptance from your parents but you wouldn’t know being an All American track athlete. Some people have to do whatever they can to get their parents respect and attention. I was sick of being beaten by my father just because I could throw a baseball as far and kick a soccer ball as hard as all the other kids. I had to stick up for myself and even going to the gym everyday wouldn’t make me strong enough to defend myself from my dad.

(Brad and Mason sit in silence staring at each other. The entire diner is silent. The two officers walk over.)

Officer Quinn: I couldn’t help but over hear your interesting conversation. Sir you have to come with us.

Brad: You don’t know what I’ve done.

Officer Schofield: Well. We know enough and I think your friend here is ready to confess everything. 

Monday, June 1, 2015

Picture Perfect

It is a beautiful July morning here in Massachusetts. The sun beats down making it a warm 80 degrees outside. This gorgeous weather made me think that maybe it would be a good day to go for a hike. I think why not grab Axel and bring him along too. We get in the car and go for a long two and a half hour drive. We find this beautiful mountainous area and decide this is a good place to stop and go for a walk. Axel is excited and hops from rock to rock, leaping into the air, he starts running. I’m worried I won’t be able to keep up with him. I keep whistling and yelling “Axel… Axel!” He doesn’t listen. Axel is a puppy on the loose and there is no stopping him. As long as I can still see him small tail whipping back and forth I’m not too worried. Axel gets to a point where the land is flat and I hear splashing. I start to jog a little faster, curious as to what Axel is doing. Tired from all the running I see Axel plopped in a giant puddle trying to cool off. He laps up the water trying to quench his thirst. I decide this is a good time to rest seeing that Axel really needs it. On one of the nearby rocks I lay down a quilt and pull food out of my backpack. I sit there and enjoy my peanut butter and jelly sandwich as I watch Axel splash around in the water as he tries to catch a butterfly that is flying around him tormenting and teasing him. He jumps up and down doing anything he can to catch the pretty blue butterfly, but it keeps going higher and higher into the air. Eventually Axel gives up and comes out of the water. He shakes all the water off his fur and comes over and lays on the blanket with me. I give him some of the crust of my sandwich and we just relax. We enjoy the rest of the warm Tuesday morning before we have to go home and sweat in our non-air-conditioned home.

I get on the plane not caring where I go I just need to go away. Far away. Maybe somewhere warm and tropical with lots of palm trees and sandy beaches. I want to get away from the cold frozen grounds of Massachusetts. I don’t belong here. I belong somewhere where it is always 80 degrees and I am a walking distance away from the ocean. When I am sad I want to be able to go for a walk barefoot on the crisp green grass not in heavy snow boots on the cold icy pavement. If this plane can’t take me there, than nothing can. No train, bus, or car can get me somewhere warm fast enough. I’ll spend every last dollar I have as long as it means I can get away from the snowy slushy grounds of MA. I want to fly far away. I want to be up in the sky and see the sun beat down on me through the tiny plane widow. I want to see the wing of the plane brush through the white puffy cumulus clouds. I don’t want to see a snow flurry causing us to land. I don’t want to see a delay that will keep me from going where I want to be. I belong in Florida where the warm breezes blow and the salty oceans wash up the shore. Massachusetts is not the state I belong in.

I pull my brand new Nike cleats out of the box. I sit and stare at the bright orange and brilliant white cleats. I pull them over my feet. It takes some time because they’re still a little tight I need to break them in. I pull the lavender laces tight and loop them around each other. One of the best feelings is putting on a new pair of cleats and stepping on to a freshly cut grass field. However, the best feeling is putting on a new pair of cleats and being able to put a perfect ball into the back of a net in them. Hearing the sound of the ball crashing into the back of a net and the crowd clapping and cheering could make any ones day better. It is an amazing feeling to be able to score a goal especially in an important game. Sadly, only a lucky few even get to experience the excitement and feeling of accomplishment of scoring a game winning goals, especially in a playoff game. Cleats are an important part of the game. They say what kind of player you are. Neon cleats mean you want to be noticed. White cleats mean you’re here to play the game but have fun. Black cleats mean your mom probably picked them out for you. Soccer is a beautiful game and you need beautiful cleats to match. 

I walk in the room and everyone has creepy huge grins on their faces and they are all staring at me. I think they are happier and more excited than I am and I am the one who just got married. I’m not sure I am so content with what I did though. I am having second thoughts. I like this man but I don’t love him. I cannot be with him for the rest of my life. When the priest told me to say “I do” and I thought but only for a split second. I didn’t want to disappoint all the people who came out to our wedding. Some had to take a plane. I couldn’t make them come all this way for me to say no. So I sucked it up and let out a faint “I do”. Now that I am at the reception however, I am rather uncomfortable. People I don’t even know are coming up to me and congratulating me. Others come over and tug on my expensive white dress with their filthy little fingers telling me how pretty it is. I put on a fake smile and say thank you.  I see my groom walk in. He takes me by the hand and pulls me away from all the strangers in the room who are swarming around me asking to see my ring and my dress. For the first time today I am thankful to see him.  He puts his hands around my waist and I place mine on his shoulders and near his neck. We sway back and forth as the golden light follows us around the dance floor. He tries to talk to me but I cannot answer. I feel as if there is a lump in my throat. He looks at me blushing and says “its okay love, you’re just a little nervous”. He doesn’t understand. I don’t love him. I am not nervous I just can’t be with him. I start to cry because I don’t know how else to express myself. He looks at me now concerned. He says “What is wrong beautiful is this not everything you want it to be?” I accidentally say “No, you’re not want I wanted”. Embarrassed a runaway hoping that will solve all my problems. However, he chases after me. I kick off my heels so I can run faster. Once I get outside to the street I just sit down and cry. No one will bother me here.

A bunch of high school students are on a beach. What else are they going to do besides take 100 different pictures so they each have one they can post on Instagram? You have the classic group photo where the two people on the end put their hands on their hips. You also have the selfie. That one was complicated to get everyone in until they invented this thing called the “Selfie Stick”. Someone will always be mad because someone has to be excluded to take the picture so if you don’t make the cut on their Instagram picture you know who your real friends are. In the picture above you have the popular high school musical style picture. This style is tough to get perfect. There is always someone still left on the ground. This shot takes multiple tries and if you’re lucky you will get it on your tenth attempt. Another classic beach pic is when everyone lays down covers their legs in sand and turns it into a mermaid tail. That one however, is very time consuming. The most popular kind of picture is the fake laughing candid. It’s pretty often that a group of girls gets together and decides they are going to take a beach trip and take a lot of “cute” selfies and “funny” group pictures but in reality they are the only people who think that about their pictures. Teenage girls are under the impression that everyone wants to see what they are doing all the time so the document it online through pictures. 

It’s the first day of summer and I’ve never been more excited to just be able to lay out by my pool on a reclining chair. My mom suggests I do a little summer reading but she’s being ridiculous. It’s the first day of summer! Today is meant to be relaxing and to take a break from all that school work I’ve been doing for nine consecutive months. I need time to tan my pale white skin and to clear my head from all things calculus and chemistry related. This is the summer before my senior year doesn’t my mom understand this is supposed to be a fun one? I’ll do my school work but not quite yet. I need time to be with my friends. Some I might not be able to see for a while once school ends because they’ll be heading right off to college. I am sad I might lose a few of my close friends but that’s why I have to use every day this summer the best I can. This summer will not be a waste. Finally we all have cars and licenses so nothing will get in our way. Summer 2015 will be perfect.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Alphabet prompt

                A group of teenage girls lay out on the hot burning sand. Beach balls are bouncing all around. Crabs crawl up and pinch their toes. Dunes of sand stack twenty feet high. Enormous men lather on sunscreen. Fish flop in and out of the salty water. Girls lay around trying to turn their pale skin a golden brown. Hot sun rays come down. Ice cream drips down all the sweaty children’s faces. Jolly little babies smile while they watch the older kids play. Kites fly through the windy sky. Laughter fills the air. Money is not spent because the beach is so cheap. Nobody is sad because it is summer. Ocean water splashes everyone’s feet. People run around in the sun. Quilts are laid out on the sand. Red faces are all over the beach. Summer is the best season all year. Tan skin is everywhere. UV rays make your skin burn or tan. Vans filled with ice cream line the beach. Water cools everyone off. X marks the spot in the sand where the treasure lies. “Yo” is what the boys yell before they throw the ball. Zoo trips are just as fun as beach trips. 

Thursday, May 21, 2015


            What’s the point of taking an anti-depressant if its side effects are thoughts of suicide and weight gain when my weight makes me suicidal? I’m a 15 year old girl who’s 92 pounds and goes in and out of psychiatric rooms in the hospital on the regular. People always try to tell me “Lily you’re not fat!” “OMG Lily stop you’re so skinny!” but why should I listen to them.
    I can’t trust people. I try but they always end up disappointing me in the end. My mom tells me she loves me, but then why does she abuse me? Before I get on the bus every morning before school she stand in the doorway on the front steps and yells to me “I love you darling.” It puts a smile on my face for a little while but then I realize what’s going to happen when I go home. The second I get back from school at 2:47 she’s going to find something that I did wrong and start yelling at me. She might even start hitting me. Why does she tell me she loves me and then leave bruises on my arms?
   That’s another cause of my depression. I don’t tell people about what goes on at home with my mom though because if they took her away from me I’d have no one. I would never leave the hospital. I don’t have many friends at school. I don’t have any friends at really when I think about it. When I need someone most I’m always left alone. I feel so abandoned. The only person I’d consider my friend is my therapist Meagan. She’s young and energetic and always knows what I should do. Meagan has long dark hair and these beautiful green eyes. She’s tall and has perfect skin. I don’t know why she is a therapist. I feel like she could be anything in the world because she is so pretty and intelligent. Instead she chooses so sit in an empty white room with me and listen to my endless lists of complaints. Sometimes I feel bad but then I remember it’s her job.
    I get excited on therapy session days. I usually go to Meagan once a week. Today’s that day actually so instead of going home right after school I walk to the office 2.5 miles away. I walk along this back road behind my school. It’s long windy and dusty but no one ever goes down it. Every time I go for that walk I feel like it’s a new adventure. I get to the office full of smiles. The secretary even wonders why I go there. She does not understand all the pain I hide under my smile.
        I walk into Meagan’s office and I am always so happy to see her. I wish she was my mom. I want to go live with her and be a part of her perfect life. Meagan talks to me in her soft quiet voice and asks the same question “How was school today Lily?” and every time I gave her the same answer of how I ate alone in the bathroom at lunch and how I didn't do my homework. She tries to encourage me to be a better student and I want to do it for her but I just don’t have the time and energy for all of it. I get home from school and my mom beats me every day until I have no energy left. I storm into my room after this teary eyes and beat myself up even more. I slit my wrists and my legs. Everywhere someone can’t see. Only Meagan knows about my scars. Usually she helps me clean them out and take the pain away. I really don’t know how she deals with all my problems but she just sits and listens. That’s all I really want. Someone who will listen to me.

      I try to ask Meagan. Why do I have a mother who says she loves me one second and hits me the next? Why should I take these medications if they make me ten times more suicidal? Why should I listen to you? I have all these questions of Why. I do not understand what the point of my life is. Meagan tells me I’m needed in this world but I feel so useless.  

Thursday, April 30, 2015


Standing alone in the bathroom,
A rope in her pale bony hand and prescription pills spilled all over the floor,
Her cellphone is ringing nonstop with calls from her worried friends,
She can’t hear the ring,
All she can hear is death screaming her name.

She gets up on the bathtub ledge standing tall and mighty tying up the rope,
She gracefully loops the noose around the bar the shower curtain lays on,
She gently places it around her neck in preparation to jump,
She closes her eyes and counts to three,
1…2… before she gets to three she’s already left the surface of the ground.

She hangs there lifeless,
The girl does not even struggle for her life,
She lets the tight rope take the air right out of her.

A young boy walks into the bathroom trembling,
He sees his sister hanging,
Devastated he starts sobbing but then he remembers,
She’s in a happier place now and has been put out of her misery. 

Free Write

Sitting in silence by the swift ocean,
I can hear the waves crash,
The seagulls sing,
and the sand crunch under my toes.
The peaceful sound of the wind blowing through my hair makes me grin.
The sun beats down on my pale freckled skin turning it a deep scarlet color.
My shorts filled with sand from laying on the beach,
There is not one cloud in the sky to ruin this perfect summer day.


They say its not as tough as losing a family member,
But I think it might be tougher.
The two young children sit there with there with their tiny fragile hands covering their eyes,
You can see what looks like streams running down their face. 
They lost their fuzzy best friend and no one will ever be able to replace him.